You could put Frank Worthington's picture in the dictionary under the word laconic. With a skill so great, Frank needed few words of explanation (though he did write an autobiography, the hilarious One Hump or Two).
In his 1979 goal of the season contender for Bolton Wanderers versus Ipswich Town, the goal nets too go all laconic.
Yes, if they were of 2016 vintage, the goal nets could have responded to Frank's wonderful keepy-uppy and volley by making a big noise and springing a rebound round three sides of the goal before jettisoning the ball to the penalty spot.
However the old, laconic Burnden Park A-frames are happy to kill the shot behind the line which requires the beaten goalkeeper to walk the walk and retrieve the ball. The game is paused in this time and Frank's magnificent skill can be celebrated properly.
Tottenham's recent World Cup winning Argentine imports Osvaldo Ardiles and Ricardo Villa attracted most of the attention at the time.
Connoisseurs of the goal nets will instead revel in the instantly recognisable White Hart Lane hardware and marvel at the software's ball retention properties.
Gerry Armstrong's rocket shot for 2-1 would rebound to the halfway line today, while Kenny Swain's header for 2-2 would pinball round box nets pulled taut and made of trampoline.
Check out the behind the goals replay for that equaliser, you just don't see nets this good any more.
Each week I'll post highlights of a game from the corresponding week of fixtures from a previous season, and openly marvel at the goalnets on display.
This week, starting with perhaps the most famous opening day fixture ever, QPR v Liverpool in 1975/76, featuring Gerry Francis' goal of the season.
The goal of the season award was totally justified as the goal is totally awesome.
So too, is the Loftus Road hardware. OK, not the best for ball retention but compared to the high tech but homogenous square boxnets on display today, they feel like an old pair of Puma trainers you once chucked away, but would dearly love back.
Remember the premise behind the 101 Great Goals series?
What constitutes a Great Goal? As this is The History of Goal Nets, simply any goal can be considered Great if we enjoyed the aesthetics of ball striking net so much that we are moved to nominate that goal.
With this in mind, the next goal I'd like to study in terms of a greatness perceived immediately by the commentary and sold into folklore is Steven Gerrard's against Olympiakos.
In terms of technique and ball placement, the Gerrard goal is remarkably similar to the vastly underrated Graeme Souness goal v Manchester City (at 6.04) below.
The difference is, though scored in the Champions League, Gerrard's goal is pure EPL in terms of hyperbole.
Two things have conspired to transform a good Gerrard goal into a wonder strike.
Firstly, the aesthetics of the goal. Most pertinent for us who understand how the aesthetics of ball striking net can affect how a goal is rated, Gerrard's shot rebounded ridiculously off the software like a ball in pinball machine.
That's right - off the software - as there wasn't an atom of aluminium within a metre of the corner of the net.
Rebounds off the hardware can be ridiculously spectacular.
But as always argued that rebounds off 21st century box-nets pulled taut and made of trampoline are simply ridiculous and are ruining the aesthetics of the game.
Then there's the commentary from Andy Gray, which has become almost as famous as the goal itself. Though it must be remembered he was there to sell "product," it must rate as highly doubtful that the Souness goal - which rebounded normally off the A-frame - would elicit such an immediate response from the commentator.
If you think it unlikely that the legend of Stevie G is down to poor ball retention at Anfield, ask yourself, does anyone remember the Graeme Souness shot which was the exact same goal without the rebound?
In their 111 years at Filbert Street, the Foxes switched from Continental D's (1960), to off-the-shoulder A-frames (till 1977) then back to Continental D's again (till Filbert Street closed in 2002).
Burnley are one of only three teams to have won all top four professional divisions in English football, the others being Wolverhampton Wanderers and Preston North End.
In 2014 The Clarets are back in the Premier League with generic box nets at either end of Turf Moor.
But Burnley's History of Goal Nets is dominated by Continental D's.
1961
1975
1983
1992
1996 - the last year before box nets were installed
Sadly passed over for World Cup 2014, Serra Dourada nonetheless hosted the Selecao in last week's warm up match versus Panama.
I believe most football fans - be they goal nets aficionados or not - would identify the L-supports at Serra Dourada with Brazil as surely as anyone in the street would identify the yellow shirts and blue shorts as the Selecao.
Eric Cantona was in the papers last week arguing global commoditised football would damage the game, and aren't FIFA's homogenous box nets one of the most visual examples of global commoditised football?
I believe it's therefore a simple argument to make that the loss of identity suffered as a result of FIFA replacing the native L-supports as per those at Serra Dourada for the generic box nets installed at the 12 stadia for World Cup 2014 is damaging to the game.
The 1982 finals in Spain are a prime example of FIFA insisting on non-native hardware for a World Cup tournament. As I posted some time ago - and re-posted in full below - the hybrid format of the 24 team tournament was matched by hybrid goal nets that added no flavour of Spain to the Spanish World Cup (exactly the result the global brand managers at FIFA had in mind).
Barcelona played out season 1981/82 between their classic Chelsea-style A-frames at the Nou Camp.
Before the Timao decamp this weekend to the FIFA World Cup 2014 venue Arena Corinthians (they're slated to play Figueirense on 18 May in the first competitive game at the new stadium), let's look back at the club's history of fantastic goals and wonderful goal nets at their old ground, Pacaembu.
Arena Pantanal in Cuiaba - a city in the exact centre of South America - is a new stadium which will host four matches during FIFA World Cup 2014. The stadium is complete and opened recently, with the obligatory boxnets at either end.
Arena Pantanal replaces Estadio Governador Jose Fragelli, nicknamed Verdao (and home to three clubs, including Mixto Esporte Clube).
A better link to Cuiaba and Brazil's footballing past would have been for FIFA to maintain the traditional L-supports that once graced either end of the old stadium.
Bahia play at the utterly charmless FIFA World Cup 2014 venue, Arena Fonte Nova.
Arena Fonte Nova replaced the old Estadio Fonte Nova, which had a great deal more character and, during the 1980's and 90's a tremendous set of A-frames at either end of the field.
Further back in Bahia's History of Goal Nets, native Brazilian L-supports were the method of choice for supporting the nets at Fonte Nova.
Can a penalty be a great goal? It can be, when it's the greatest penalty ever taken.
For all it's audacity and courage, it's worth considering the aesthetic effect the Belgrade Continental D's which smothered the shot, have played in making this penalty so memorable.
Compare and contrast with the following Panenka penalties:
ZIDANE
Zidane's penalty, 5 minutes into the 2006 World Cup final is certainly audacious, but has the ball not striking net reduced it's impact on the collective memory?
PIRLO
Much of the commentary resulting from Pirlo's peerless kick focused on Joe Hart sprawled on his backside rather than the kick itself. Might this have something to do with the ball hitting the net like a ball against a wall in training?
Though 101 Great Goals is primarily concerned with the aesthetic added to a great goal by the ball striking the net, it may also from time to time consider a great goal, the aesthetics of which have been soured by the on-field architecture.
Gerry Francis' superb goal on the opening day of the 1975/76 season against Liverpool heralded the arrival of an exciting QPR side and was as much a statement of intent as Roberto Bettega's similar goal at the 1978 World Cup.
But the similarities of the goals ends when the ball hits the net.
The L-supports at el Monumental afforded Bettega's goal maximum ball retention and, with the ball dead in the net, the Argentine crowd and the watching audience at home are given time to reflect on a great goal, a great Italian performance and the host nation Argentina facing defeat.
When the stanchions at the old Loftus Road, notoriously planted mere inches behind the goal line, deflect Gerry Francis' shot immediately back into the field of play, they deny Gerry Francis and QPR (and Liverpool) that same moment of reflection. Yes, it was still a great goal, but could QPR maintain their challenge? Or would they, like the ball flashing in and out of the goal, be a flash in the pan?
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Despite losing this opening game of the season Liverpool won the 1975/76 league title.
Even after you set aside all the externals surrounding this game - with the Italians successfully facing down the Junta, the rabid River Plate crowd and an admittedly still misfiring Albiceleste - this is still an amazing goal.
It's all there...
The 1-2 with Paolo Rossi...
The drill of a shot into the bottom corner...
Maximum ball retention by the World Cup '78 L-supports TM
Huddersfield Town boasted a proud history of on-field hardware at their old Leeds Road ground.
In 1971 they welcomed the Manchester United of Best, Law and Charlton with black stanchions (and perhaps the "double-netting" seen at Colchester about the same time?)
Ten years later the Leeds Road hardware was white and slightly off the shoulder.
